Mrs Tawa Olukemi and Dr Semiu .A. Babayode are one couple on social media that caught our attention. Always taking beautiful family photos together, Dr & Mrs Babayode, who are based in Manchester, United Kingdom would always make any spinster/bachelor envious of their union. Little wonder, we nominated them as one of our Valentine’s Day couple. What keeps this family going? How has the union survived the vicissitudes of life since 2011 when it was solemnized? The wife, who is self employed and works from home shares some marriage tips in this interview
Owambevibes: When did you get married?
We got married on November 12, 2011
Owambevibes: What was the attraction to your spouse?
His decency, friendliness and good-look
Owambevibes: Were there oppositions when you made up your mind to get married?
No. My parents especially my mother were anxious but they gave their blessings without problem.
Owambevibes: Are you from same place of origin?
No. I am from Ile-Ife while he is from Ikire. But we both hail from the same Osun State though
Owambevibes: How do you run a family peacefully in a city like London?
We actually live in Manchester which is relatively calm although it’s growing too fast now. Manchester is like living in Ibadan while London is comparable to Lagos as you know, life in the fast lane. Running a peaceful family starts with each one of us. First, I have a best friend in my husband— he is very understanding and generous. As parents, we set the tone in the house for the kids to follow. The way we communicate, our behaviour on daily basis can shape how children socialise, cope and act for the rest of their lives. Morover, positive words as well as using a kind tone is important as children tend to respond to request when they hear a pleasant voice rather than someone shouting or overreacting with an emotional rant. We teach our kids a lot of Nigerian culture and values, civility including greetings by prostrating for elders. While we instill discipline, we make it a duty to be friendly with them, cracks jokes, hug them when they are dropped at school and settle home to eat together as regularly as possible
Owambevibes: Living abroad makes some women have the upper hand in their marriages, is yours like that?
Not at all but I do understand where you are coming from. I have seen so many marriages like that among our Nigerians in diaspora but most end up with breakups while few others remain together in fragments. Women often live with regrets especially those who have the capacity to reflect on their lives.
Owambevibes: Does your spouse know everything about you?
I believe so. We have known each other now for over 17 years.
Owambevibes: How do you get yourselves prepared for those photo shoots (very amazing) because some men don't really like it.
It’s hard work to be honest as it takes days to prepare for the photo shoots and another day to reorganise our house back. The most difficult part is clothes selections, what to use from our long lines of clothing and accessories.I enjoy looking good. My husband is a medical doctor but values memory preservation. It was difficult initially to get him deeply involved on regular basis but he did it to keep me happy. He is loving it as a way of relaxation away from hectic work life.
Owambevibes: If there a quarrel between the two of you, how do you settle it?
Because we are human we do argue but very rarely. We settle our riff on a meal or during a walk or while in bed or whatever activity is next for us. One thing does help— I have never gone on strike after any argument with my husband.
Owambevibes: After any misunderstanding, who apologises first?
I usually do. He is often in the right because he is very tolerant and understanding. You know we, women— we can misuse too much freedom.
Owambevibes: How has marriage changed you?
A lot have changed in me but there are lots that I can never change in myself. I have become a mother with accompanied responsibilities. I have had to learn how to be a good mother and wife. However, my kindness that gets me into trouble sometimes, big smiles remain and can never be changed.
Owambevibes: How have you sustained the marriage over the years?
I have sustained our marriage through determination, sacrifices, devotion/submission to my husband and fighting my love.
Owambevibes: Advise couples on how to keep a lasting marriage.
First, have your friend as husband. It is very important as other task will be easier to accomplish. You have to be determined and also make conscious efforts to make the marriage work. Keep your focus and ignore side talks, show your devotion to your family, be submissive to your husband no matter your position because an African man will always be African man.
Owambevibes: What’s the greatest and most prized gift you have received from your spouse?
His love is the greatest and most prized gift for me
Comments
Post a Comment